We are happy to provide two additional film reviews.
Watching this film brought back a lot of memories for me. My parents were divorced when I was 5 years old and although I really don’t have a memory of them being together, I have many memories of them fighting….and being torn between the two. When I was 13 my mom got divorced for the 2nd time from my step-dad, with whom I have 2 half-sisters. This one I remember well, and it was a nasty divorce that I was constantly put in the middle of. The effect it had on my sisters has left everlasting scars. No one ever sat us down and told us it wasn’t our faults, talked to us about what would be happening next, and so forth.
This film is great in so many ways because these wonderful children speak plainly about what divorce means to them. They talk about their feeling when their parents told them what was happening. They talk about their fears, hopes, dreams, and being caught in the middle. The chapters, My Biggest Worry and Caught in the Middle, really resonated with me and I know it would have helped us had we been able to talk to other children going through the same thing. And even though this is obviously geared toward children, I think it would be an eye opener to divorcing and divorced parents. I don’t think our parents realized what they were doing to us with their divorce and by putting us in the middle.
The kids in the film.
The chapters on Things That Helped, Advice to Kids, and Advice to Parents are such simple ideas, but things that we often don’t think of when going through this. Finding healthy distractions, like school work or friends is a great idea. The advice to parents was one of my favorite chapters because it really points out things that adults don’t consider…like how to tell their kids they’re are getting divorced, or to remember to reassure their children that it’s not their fault…and not to use their children as a go between (that one is my favorite piece of advice personally).
The film is really easy to watch and flows nicely. There aren’t any distractions. It’s from each of the 8 children’s perspectives and focuses on each child at a time, making it easy for a child to follow along. Intermittently there are little snippets of the children playing and laughing…a reminder to all children that these kids are just like them, have gone through what they’re going through, and have survived the divorce and are stronger for it. I think it’s a vital DVD for any family experiencing divorce.
I am a victim of a divorced family (even though my parents did remarry each other, but that’s another story). Unfortunately, my daughter is also a victim of divorce since I had no choice but to divorce for our protection, but that is also another story. Divorce is something that affects almost everyone at some point in their lives whether directly or indirectly. In my daughter’s case, she doesn’t even remember her dad, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect her. She has actually been mad at me in the past for divorcing her dad because it means that she is not like everyone else in her class. They all have dads, and she doesn’t. She is now 9 1/2, and she sometimes goes through struggles that are similar to how I felt when my parents were divorced. I do empathize with her.
I want to tell you about a phenomenal film called Children and Divorce: Children Teaching Children About Divorce. It is a great educational film that is put out by Professor Child. It is exactly what it says it is. Children speak candidly about several different aspects of divorce. They are honest, and sometimes quite emotional. So often children are harmed in ways we can’t imagine within the divorce process. Many portions of the film would not relate to my daughter, but I want her to realize that she is not alone. She is not the only child who has experienced divorce, and sometimes she does feel alone.
At this point, my daughter has not seen this video. She has had such a busy schedule, and I haven’ t wanted her to watch this film during the holidays. It just didn’t seem the right time. I do plan to take her through it bit by bit so she can thoroughly absorb it, and we can discuss it. I love the fact that it is only children talking, and you don’t even have adult interaction in the film. The kids are all different ages, and they are willing to tell it like it is. I notice there are other films on the site that deal with subjects such as grief and military families, and I am sure these would be outstanding as well. I invite you to check these out if you and your children have ever experienced any of the issues discussed. I can assure you that you will not be disappointed.